Mess with a RoomMate - Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
Mess with a RoomMate - Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
Mess with a RoomMate - Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going now?"
Mess with a RoomMate - Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home.then act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, they, were here again."
Mess with a RoomMate - Every time you see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the stomach. Then immediately buy him/her some ice cream.
Mess with a RoomMate - Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been cold lately.
Mess with a RoomMate - Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
Mess with a RoomMate - Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.
Mess with a RoomMate - Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.
Mess with a RoomMate - "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
Mess with a RoomMate - Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
Mess with a RoomMate - Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where the hell am I?!?", then run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.
Mess with a RoomMate - Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for ten minutes.
Mess with a RoomMate - Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
Mess with a RoomMate - Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
Mess with a RoomMate - Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."
Mess with a RoomMate - If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
Mess with a RoomMate - Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know how they got there.
Mess with a RoomMate - Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
Mess with a RoomMate - Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"
Mess with a RoomMate - Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
Mess with a RoomMate - Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."
Mess with a RoomMate - Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
Mess with a RoomMate - Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
Mess with a RoomMate - Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.
Mess with a RoomMate - While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
Mess with a RoomMate - Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings. Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
Mess with a RoomMate - Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
Mess with a RoomMate - Punch a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the lack of good shows.
Mess with a RoomMate - Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an hour every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The next day, start standing in front of the window again.
Mess with a RoomMate - Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
Mess with a RoomMate - Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
Mess with a RoomMate - Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring you food and water.
Mess with a RoomMate - Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"
Mess with a RoomMate - Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the broken window as you normally would.
Mess with a RoomMate - Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that you hit the bull's eye.
Mess with a RoomMate - Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." When you see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.
Mess with a RoomMate - Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry,Elmer. Repeat process with Elmer.
Mess with a RoomMate - Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.
Mess with a RoomMate - Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.
Mess with a RoomMate - When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back."
Mess with a RoomMate - Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, you can come out now."
Mess with a RoomMate - Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you to do anything,tell him/her you are the ruler.
Mess with a RoomMate - Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Finally stand up & yell,"I Lost!"
Mess with a RoomMate - Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
Mess with a RoomMate - Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can 't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a fine.
Mess with a RoomMate - Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
Mess with a RoomMate - Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When you and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.
Mess with a RoomMate - Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the window. Say that the toaster made you do it.
Mess with a RoomMate - Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his side of the room. Insist that he remove all of his possessions immediately.
Mess with a RoomMate - Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, etc.)
Mess with a RoomMate - Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses you of not having any Native-American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.
Mess with a RoomMate - Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.
Mess with a RoomMate - Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.
Mess with a RoomMate - Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.
Mess with a RoomMate - Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
Mess with a RoomMate - Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't do that."
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, report that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.
Mess with a RoomMate - Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Then insist you need to show him/her the proper way & brush their teeth.
Mess with a RoomMate - Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."
Mess with a RoomMate - Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 753-4795! Holy cow!")
Mess with a RoomMate - Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't box with you anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if you can box with his/her shadow.
Mess with a RoomMate - Ask your roommate about their medical plan. If they ask why you are asking just say, "Accidents happen." Make it obvious that you are trying to cover up your laughter.
Mess with a RoomMate - Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
Mess with a RoomMate - Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what you think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.
Mess with a RoomMate - Tell other people in your building that your roommate is going to be "going on a trip" shortly. Don't tell them where or when. If people ask your roommate where he/she is going, cut in and say "Oh...that has been canceled."
Mess with a RoomMate - Paint a tunnel on the wall like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as you attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, "I'll get that pesky road runner...."
Mess with a RoomMate - Leave memos on your roommate's bed that say things like, "I know what you did," and "Don't think you can fool me." Sign them in blood.
Mess with a RoomMate - Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
Mess with a RoomMate - Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd like to have a conversation.
Mess with a RoomMate - Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck.
Mess with a RoomMate - Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a telescope. Sit on your bed and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for you to see.
Mess with a RoomMate - Offer your roommate some of your most valuable possessions. If they ask about your generosity, say nothing but "I won't need it where I'm going." If they take anything wait a week and insist they give it back. If they want to know why say "I was left behind", and crawl into bed crying.
Mess with a RoomMate - Watch "Psycho" every day for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.
Mess with a RoomMate - Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your... Oh, it's just you." Take off the hat, sit, and pout.
Mess with a RoomMate - Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you just couldn't take it anymore.
Mess with a RoomMate - Tell your roommate that you "just want to be friends", and that you can no longer take their advances. Wait an hour and ask them to join you in the shower.
Mess with a RoomMate - Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in bandages. When you see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy frozen meals and leave them under a lamp on your desk. If your roommate warns you that the meals will go bad simply say, "I know what I'm doing." While your roommate is out empty the meal containers such that it looks like you've eaten them. When your roommate return pretend to be violently ill. Do this twice a week.
Mess with a RoomMate - As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
Mess with a RoomMate - Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that you think the refrigerator is plotting against you.
Mess with a RoomMate - Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
Mess with a RoomMate - Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving you and your roommate.
Mess with a RoomMate - Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about half an hour. Come out looking dazed and act terrified of your roommate, keeping a good distance.
Mess with a RoomMate - Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to join you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
Mess with a RoomMate - Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be a murder in the room.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate you think the lobster has a marked deck.
Mess with a RoomMate - Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.
Mess with a RoomMate - While you are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can fire in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. If your roommate objects, explain that you are just trying to get even.
Mess with a RoomMate - Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.
Mess with a RoomMate - Hide small containers of milk in your roommate's half of the room. After they begin to smell complain to your roommate about the odor. If your roommate finds them and claim that they aren't theirs, acknowledge that you put them there, but tell them "They were on your half of the room. You should be more responsible."
Mess with a RoomMate - Put out a plate of cookies at night. Tell your roommate that they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the cookies while your roommate is asleep. The next morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell you the Sandman did it, insist that you know what the Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's teeth marks.
Mess with a RoomMate - If your roommate has a pet, offer to feed their pet for them. Start taking bottles of glue and white out from your desk before your roommate can answer.
